He Kicked Her in the… What?

You may remember that Lindsay Lohans’ father Michael was arrested on December 14th for violating a restraining order put on him by his ex-girlfriend Erin Muller. Well, yesterday Muller took it to the next level by filing papers with a New York court claiming Lohan beat her at least a dozen times during their 2-year “relationship.” Here are a few of the highlights…

Dec. 9, 2007: Michael Lohan “slapped Erin in the face twice because Erin accused him of giving her a fake watch on her birthday.
Feb. 2008: Michael “punched Erin in the mouth” because she had a male friend on Facebook
March 2008: Michael “whipped a computer cord” at her face but she blocked it with her hand … causing a laceration.
May 5, 2008: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the ribs.”
May 2008: Michael “kicked Erin Muller in the vagina, bruising it and causing substantial pain.”
June 2008: Michael “spit in Erin’s face, and beat her repeatedly with his fist.” Then he “yelled at her to ’stop crying c*nt — other people will see you — if they see you, I will kill you!’”

What’s the problem? Seems like a perfectly normal relationship to me…